I'll Never Be Ready

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General Information

Amy Lee and Deena Jakoub at Flux Studios, New York recording I'll Never Be Ready.

I'll Never Be Ready is a ballad from Veridia's debut album that features Amy Lee on the piano.

On March 7, 2018, Veridia tweeted that lead singer, Deena Jakoub, is in New York City meeting with "a close friend who is recording piano for a very special song". It's known that Deena and Amy have remained very good friends after Veridia opened for Evanescence in 2015 and 2016, which made fans speculate whether or not the "close friend" is Amy.

The next day, Amy posted a photo of herself and Deena together with the caption "Making beautiful music together on #internationalwomensday", and soon after, Veridia posted a few more pictures of Amy and Deena in the studio confirming that Amy will be contributing music to I'll Never Be Ready.

The song itself is in tribute to Deena's late father after he passed away in March 2017. She posted this tribute and shared lyrics of the song on Instagram:

There are times when I write a song and I am not entirely sure why I decided to tell that particular story... and then something transforming happens in my life that brings new depth and meaning to it.... sometimes painful, sometimes renewing, or a mix of indescribable emotion. I wrote this when I knew my Dad's illness was getting worse. I had no idea I would only have a little over 2 years left with him. Maybe this song was only for him, maybe it's only for me, maybe we'll release it one day. But, for now, I just want to share these words in honor of his genuine love and maybe some of you will find something in them that you needed.

Veridia performed the song with Amy Lee at their album listening party on October 6, 2018.

Versions

Studio Versions

I'll Never Be Ready (feat. Amy Lee)

• Recording date: January - March 2018
• Status: Released
• Released on: The Beast You Feed (track #10)
• Length: 3:02

Live Versions

I'll Never Be Ready (with Amy Lee)

• Performing dates: October 6, 2018; May 7/9/12/14/15, 2019
• Performed at: Analog at Hutton Hotel, Nashville, TN (October 6, 2018); Saenger Theatre, New Orleans, LA (May 7, 2019); Coca Cola Roxy Theater, Atlanta, GA (May 9, 2019); UPMC Events Center, Coraopolis, PA (May 12, 2019); Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, PA (May 14, 2019); The Anthem, Washington, DC (May 15, 2019)

Lyrics

You were the one to hold me
The warmth of your arms would heal my wounds
You were the one who knew me
When nobody else understood

Even if I knew when and I saw the signs
Even if you told me it'd be alright
Even if I had the power to watch the clock wind down, I won't
Cause you're here right now
And I'll never be ready, ready, ready
To say goodbye
I'll never be ready, ready, ready
No I'll never be ready, ready, ready

I don't have to think about it
A world without you is not what I want
And still you must leave and I don't like it
But I'll never forget how much I was loved

Even if I knew when and I saw the signs
Even if you told me it'd be alright
Even if I had the power to watch the clock wind down, I won't
Cause you're here right now
And I'll never be ready, ready, ready
To say goodbye
I'll never be ready, ready, ready
No I'll never be ready, ready, ready
No I'll never be ready, ready, ready

Not all of us are lucky enough
To know a love so unconditional
I can't imagine what I would have been without you
You showed me how to fly and that I might be invincible

But I'll never be ready
To say goodbye
I'll never be ready, ready, ready
No I'll never be ready, ready, ready
No I'll never be ready, ready, ready

Video

An official live video was published on Veridia's YouTube channel on October 30, 2018. It features the band and Amy Lee's performance at The Beast You Feed's listening party.

Before starting, both Deena and Amy gave emotional speeches about what this song means to them.

Deena: I really hope I can get through this song, to be honest. It's one of the first times that I've ever performed it, other than the studio. So, I actually wrote this song for my dad when he was really sick, and I never showed it to him, it actually ended up being a song for me. It's about reminding yourself to be fully in your moment. He passed away a year after that, and I just needed that slap in the face at the time. I couldn't change the past, I couldn't change that he got sick, and I couldn't forsee the future, I didn't know. I knew it was inevitable that I would have to say goodbye. But I would never be ready for that and, yeah, he was an amazing human being, and I'm so grateful that he gave me life. So, yeah, I knew that this song needed to be recorded and when we got to the studio we all realised that this wasn't going to be a full band song, wasn't going to be full on, we needed to make sure that it had the intimacy that it needed. So we got a celloist to come in and they put down that beautiful sombre, deep, meaningful sound, and it was gorgeous, but it was still missing something. Originally when I wrote it, it was just me and a piano, and I was like 'I think it still needs that'. And the only pianist that I knew that just emoted, like, played it with angels surrounding her was Amy Lee. And I reached out and asked her if she would do that, and she did, and the crazy thing is she flew from New York to play it for you guys tonight with me. So welcome Amy Lee to the stage. Amy: It's an honor to be here, thank you so much. I gotta tell my little tiny story now too. Real quick! Real quick! When Deena first showed me this song and asked if I wanted to play piano on it, my brother just passed away a month before. And I felt like, I felt I couldn't speak, let alone sing, and it was such a beautiful thing because she asked me if I would play piano, just play piano! I don't think I've ever been asked that by anybody! At least ever since we made it big. And it was so cool because I needed to emote, but I couldn't. I felt like I couldn't sing yet. And this song spoke for me in such a beautiful way. It just spoke right to my heart. Music has an amazing power, it really does. And our connection through our pain and we can share it together, let it out on each other, it's so beautiful. I'm so grateful to be able to be a part of it, thank you. It feels like it was meant to be from something beyond coincidence. And I feel like I can sing now. I couldn't before, but I'm going to do some little background vocals just to back you up. You've got this! Our secret wish before the show was like 'Let's feel the feelings, but not ugly cry'.

Buy/Stream The Beast You Feed

• Veridia's Official Store
• Apple Music
• Amazon
• Spotify