Anywhere but Home transcript

A comprehensive text of the words spoken on the Anywhere But Home DVD.

Life on the road

Amy: playing ping pong on roller skates with Beth drops the ball and tries to pick it up with her paddle while still on skates

Some guy in the background: Someone’s gonna get hurt.

Some guy in the background #2: Yeah I can see this being a bad idea…



Amy: trying on one of her skirts and looking at herself in the mirror It’s really long in the back… walks backwards pretends to be rocking out on stage

Beth: You should do stuff that you do on stage to test it out.

Amy: Well what do I do?

Beth: starts singing and pretending to be Amy I won’t be broken again…

both laugh

Beth: And then you go backs up

Amy: Yeah I back up. I just don’t want to trip on it.



Amy: You rule!

John: You rule!

Amy: You fucking rule! throws towel and bottle at John Don’t play with me!

John: Aaaaaggghhhh! I quit!

laughter


Rocky: staring at John off camera

John: Stop it! Stop staring at me!

Rocky: throws whatever is in his hand over his shoulder Oh man…

John: Man, if that was you, you wouldn’t care!

Rocky: fakes out John and pretends to almost attack him Aww, you didn’t flinch! That’s messed up.

John: That’s because I ain't like that.

Rocky: Nah, that’s cuz it was too fast.



Camera guy: holding up one of Rocky’s drum heads showing all of the band members he drew We’ve got Shitlocks, Amy, Rocky rockin’ in the back, Will with black hair, and John.


Beth: doing Amy’s hair I feel like this is a reality show…

Amy: What the hell is wrong with Bryn…

Beth: She is such a bitch…


Will: walks past the camera and blows raspberries

Camera dude: Did you get a haircut?

Will: Yeah. Gotta tighten my shit up, right before the show. Beth took care of me. She does it up good. See, John has his moustache trimmed.

John: southern accent I got mah whiskers trimmed.


Terry walks in with one of his dread locks in his hand

Someone off camera: Oh, snap!

One of the guys: Dude, where’d you kill that?

Another one of the guys: Oh, that’s your hair.

Terry: Well I can’t wear my hair in a ponytail no more.


Amy: Why are you guys standing around in a circle beat boxing?

Terry: beatboxes

John: Are you farting?

Terry: Shit.

Rick: attempts to beat box but only farting sounds come out

laughter

Terry: beat boxing in a can with the lid

Guy off camera: He’s a fucking one man band.

Shaun: chimes in with Terry Ooooh ooooh!

Terry beat boxes on the mic on the bus

Terry: (beatboxing) BMW in front of us, get fuck outta the way!

4 guys sitting on couches all with Apple laptops

Camera guy: Apple. Used by Evanescence.


Will in the backseat of a car

Camera guy: A rock star moment.

Will: It’s all about me being comfortable.

Camera guy: He’s gotta go from here moves camera to there.


Will: Now, I know what you’re saying. You’re at a party, there’s plenty of beer, but you don’t have a beer bottle opener. Or any type of bottle opener for that matter. Yes you do, my friend. Look for a discarded plastic drinking apparatus. You know, make sure it’s kinda tight, preferably unopened. Use a little leverage pops beer open with soda bottle top, and you’ve got any beer opened in no time.

someone throws a towel on Will’s head

Camera dude: Psycho

Will goes off sipping his beer

Will: Wanna see what my shirt smells like after wearing it for two days? Come closer.

camera zooms in

Will: You’re gonna break the camera. My shirt stinks.



Will brushes his teeth with one of those tooth brush strips on his pinky

Dude off camera: That is so rock star, guys.

Will: shows Beth his strip Hey, look at that…

Beth: Eww!


Dude: (I forget his name) No meet and greet laugh

Will: No meat and potatoes… what did he say?

Dude: No meet and greet today.

Will: Oh, okay. I’m gonna go play Tony Hawk.


Will: signing posters I don’t even have to look!

Will: leaning into the camera Sick and twisted individuals… don’t listen to them.


Amy: What’s a girl to do? I’ve got a little points to mouth canker sore or something. Like I yawned, and I had a dry mouth, and it cracked on the side, ya know, and it’s like ugh! Goodbye.

Camera guy: Buhbye.

Will: She’s such a complainer.



Amy: I started panicking when I tried to sing and I couldn’t. Nothing came out.

Rocky: Yeah that first song… it was gone.

Will: It took awhile for it to come out. Our career is over.

Amy: Our career just ended.



Amy: I’m making an apron! puts it on Guys! Look what I made! This right here cost me 25 cents. bows Thank you, thank you. southern accent 25 cents!


Amy: Tomorrow I’m going to go online and see if there’s anymore of my underwear on eBay. Because every venue we go to, there’s a pair of underwear in the trash can that we leave. I don’t bother washing them, I just buy new ones.



Amy: I’m putting phrases on my underwear so if someone looks up my skirt, they get a reprimand for looking.

Beth: holds up a pair of underwear that says fuck you on them

laughter



Amy: You know what, nobody’s gonna see these hose. So no reason to wear them. puts on socks

Beth: These hose!

Amy: These hose knows!


clapping

Amy: enters wearing her prom dress posh accent I’m so glad you all could attend.

Amy and Beth pose for a picture

Amy: Your boob is crunching mine.

Beth: Act normal.

Amy: We were in the store, trying on all of these dresses, and the woman’s like what are those for? And Beth says, I think we’re gonna go play putt-putt. And the woman said, well you can’t wear them out of the store. And Beth said “We can’t buy them?” And the woman says “Ugh.” Cuz we look like crap and like we’re kids. So we’re trying on every dress and pointing to them saying, “Ok I’ll take this one and this one, and two tiaras. Don’t wrap it up yet cuz I’m still looking.”

Shaun in Beth’s purple prom dress

Amy: Rick from 311 wore my clothes on stage.


Terry: What’s this? picks up painting

Amy: Some girl painted it for me. Isn’t it cool? It looks real, doesn’t it?

Terry: She painted it?

Amy: Yeah, she said she used acrylic. I don't know. Looks like pencil and acrylic. She said it was based on My Last Breath. I don’t know what that means, maybe like her interpretation of it or whatever.

Terry: She fucking bought it at Wal-Mart.

Amy: She did not buy it… shit, she didn’t give me her name. I'll have to credit her and put it on the website. I'll have Ritchie go, maybe she'll still be there.


Will: The sticks have to be at least that long or I won’t eat them. You might call me spoiled. I’m not spoiled, I just know what I like. And I know what I don't like, which is this. holds up substandard pretzel stick What is that? Nobody wants to eat that. You want this! holds up standard pretzel stick Yeah, there ya go.


John with pizza in hand: Watch out, mister! You better watch out, because you are goin down, down, down! Ooh. eats pizza

Bloopers

A: Ok. Oh wow that was awesome! Ok, next
laughs
A: No, cut, I can't do this
CM: laughs
A: Ok. clears throat

A: Sorry wrong key. HA HA HA. I've played it so many times I'm LOSING MY MIND!

A: Hello everyone in Oslo, um, shit. Hold on. I didn't get very far did I? Hello Oslo and everyone watching the Nordic Music Awards, we're sorry we can't be there tonight, we would love to, and um, shit again. One more time. Hello Oslo and everyone at the Nordic Music Awards, me and the rest of the band would love to be there right now, but we're on tour. Thank you so much for voting everybody, we wish we could be there, and and, shit, why is this so hard for me?! Me and the rest of the band would like to thank you for voting for us at the Nordic Music Awards!
laughter
A: We're sorry we can't be there
BG: Do it like that
A: I'm trying to read it!
W: WE would like to thank YOU
A: WEEEE for YOUUUU
A: Hey Oslo and everyone at the Nordic Music Awards. We're sorry we can't be there tonight, thank you so much for voting for us. We'll hope to see you soon in Scandinavia.
Amy cheeses

A: Everybody give it up for Revis!
cheers

A: Hey Germany, thank you so much for this award, sorry we couldn't be there tonight we just wanted to, um, never mind, here we go. laughs
J: We just wanted to never mind
T: We just wanted to never mind
laughs
A: Hello Germany, we'd love to be there with you tonight but we're touring in the US, thank you so much for this award, and um, for all of your support. cheeses

A: Wow thank you so much, two awards in one evening, I uhh, laughs
R: Wow I can't believe it that's awesome!!
A: I wanna act excited
J: You must just be givin' em away!
A: Can you say that?
laughter continues

A: It's getting very warm in here
A: Thank you. Revis everybody, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much. Ok, we're gonna change things up for a couple songs if that's okay with you. Ok, who fucked with my piano?
Fan: I did I'm sorry!
A: It's Prank Night, hold on.
Fan: I love you!
A: I didn't do it! You guys don't pretend you're not messing with me!!! Shit...hold on. I don't believe this! Hold on I'm gonna turn it off back here...

A: I want everybody to give it up for Revis, our piano tech extraordinaire!

A: Sorry, I've never played live before.
Fan: I love you Amy!!!!
A: Okay we got it.

John falls on his ass lmao

A: This is going to be really dramatic, just pretend

A: Without your touch, without your AHHHHHH!
A: He comes up on stage, he jumps up, and he goes 'bleghegarahghargh' all over me, and I'm like, I'm going "froooozen inside AHHHHHH!'
collective laughter

A: Can you wrap this up?

A: There goes the fearsome foursome.
CM: Alright we're here at Schnooks, and we're buying the contraband for the scarification process of Mr. T Baggins. Mr. Frank T Baggins, he's uh, he's goin' down.
CM: Oooooh oh oh oh laughs
BG: We can leave the drawer a little open, like somebody pulled it out of there
BG: OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ASS?
CM: Alright, here we go, we're gonna turn this light out
R: Ain't really much to say except dude's gonna crap his pants
R: Shhhh, watch very carefully, shhh everybody, everybody c'mon, shhh c'mon
opens door to Terry's room
laughter

T: What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Shit. picks up phone Hey man, wake the fuck up.' Shit.
T: I have no idea. Wait til you go up in my fuckin' room though. Ok, all the lights were on, windows were shut, TV was on. inaudible
opens door
BG: Ahhhh! What are you doin?
B: What's goin' on here?
Sec: What?
T: Dude, don't even try it dude. How do I turn my lights on?
B: What's goin' on here?
laughter
BG: WOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOOO!
T: I opened the door I was like, I looked for a second, and I was like 'hold up, am I in the right room?' The windows and curtains were fuckin' open 'n shit, shit was blowin, I dunno man. That was pretty good man
R: I gotta see this
laughter

A: Tonight is the last show of the... tour, it's the night where everybody messes with everybody. And this is the end of the end of the end of all tours for Fallen. So um, the pranketies
B: The pranketies!
A: are pretty extreme
A: Well for the cue, I wanna be able to cue it, because I have this moment, there's a moment in the song, where there's a dramatic break and it goes "dddeeeeeeerrrroooohhmmm" and it's all quiet, right when all the music cuts out, right before they come back in, cans of confetti are going to explode, not up in the air to rain down on them from far away, but right in their faces!
CM: For Seether?
B: Shhh!
A: Shh, he's right there... one from each side, it goes "POOF"
Sec: How much do you want, do you want the whole thing?
A: Oh yeah, kill 'em! Just..
Sec: She wants the whole bag
A: ..is that gonna hurt 'em?
BG: Well no, but it's gonna be a mess on stage
A: Yeah.

A: hee hee hee
B: I might step on you
A: ugh
amy almost vomits
laughter
B: Did you wretch?
A: That was real! laughs
CM: Ohh man
B: Here
A: Ok this one smells better
B: Screams
W: You know we have like, zero time to do this
A: Yeah
BG: C'mon monkey
W: So what, it has to be THIS song?
A: Yeah, we gotta go right now
B: Amy, you're hot, toe-ies!
A: OK C'mon lets go!!!

runs on stage in gorilla outfits

S: laughs So uh, as you guys can see this has been a really fun tour for us, and we're gonna miss these people very very dearly. We've had a lot of fun laughs

S: So uh, it's the end of the tour, it's been 2, what, a month with them on the road now, and it's gonna be good times, Evanescence just better wait. Better watch them fuck out!

A: Ok, they're all gonna come take a bow. They look just like me

A: Oh my GOD, what is WRONG with you???

Amy bows down to Rocky

-cuts to black-

Showtime

Amy sitting on the stage with rest of band around her
A: ...then Taking Over Me, Everybody's Fool, Thoughtless, My Last Breath...
J: Scratch the next one
A: Farther Away, and then we're gonna start the intro to Haunted and everybody can change guitars and catch their breath, then Haunted, My Immortal, Bring Me To Life, and everything else is the same.

W: lifts his bass and continues to play it behind his head during soundcheck
picks his nose then wipes it on his butt

backstage
R: Ever see a man put on makeup before?
Beth is putting eyeliner on Shaun
then puts makeup on John
J: What do you think Rafa? I just put it on until I just love myself!
B: Sooooo cute!
John kisses Beth on the cheek Muah!

Beth putting makeup on Terry
T: Hey man, will you get the fuck out of here, man?

A: I'm always in a good mood whenever I do it good, and I run over to the side, usually do something silly like sticks tongue out and sometimes I crack myself up, and then it goes totally quiet and then it's just sings I tried to kill the pain... and then so often I start out with a smile on my face and today, I ran over to the side of the stage and I was gonna get a drink of water or something and I gave her my waterbottle back, and I accidently brushed her boob, so after that I was like haha so I pinched her nipple and then I splashed water all over the both of us and I started laughing and it got all over my face and I cracked up and the song is starting, like during all this it's the intro to Tourniquet, so I'm like towel! towel! She didn't have a towel so I just used the back of her shirt, ran back on stage and started singing.

A: I freaking rocked out with every little ounce of everything I had. That was a show.
J: You rock.
A: You guys rock.


and also

Evanescence Unleashed

Legend:
A: Amy
B: Beth
T: Terry
J: John
W: Will
R: Rocky
Sec: Security/Bodyguard peepz
BG: Background Voices
CM: Camera Man

Amy crawling on the floor

A: I was sitting here lovingly one day and like la la la and whatever and I go like this lifts leg and Beth goes "What are you doing?" farts and I just go crawls away
B: It was a juicy one!
Everyone else in the room:laughs as Amy crawls away

Amy on the tour bus laughing hysterically
Guy in the background: What?
Everyone else on the back of the bus is laughing hard
Amy: One time I did that with a skirt on and Rick Kelly was the one who had to tell me...

A: Shaun put his clothes into my wardrobe case- right next to mine and now I was like smells shirt gags And so I spun around and she sprayed me. So now I smell like an ass crack.
B: Not that we know what an ass crack smells like...

Will goes up to accept his award
A: What's his prize?
B: He won an award for the Most Outgoing of Buttcracks!
crowd cheers as Will shows the crowd his butt crack

Beth burps
B: Aww that was a shitty one...

Amy and Shaun
A: I didn't fart!
S: burps That was my burp. burps again That was my mating call!
The mating call of the South African. I should hang out my gut and be like
gives gross look to the camera
A: That was a bitch burp. A little Amy burp.
B: That was not an Amy burp.
A: sings Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies...

A: I almost barfed. Did you get me kneeling down back there?

A: It's not down here where you think your stomach is, its up here.
J: It's trapped!
A: It's like ugh! And you start getting a tingle, and then you're like eyes bug out
makes a sound like she's tasting something in her mouth
everyone in the room laughs
J: I remember that!
A: I did that! It was in Zero. Zero threw me over. It's always that first long stretch before I sit at the piano.

Amy sitting at the piano on stage drinking a glass of wine
crowd cheers her on to chug the whole glass
Amy chuggs the whole glass and does a puny burp in the mic
A: That was lame! Sorry! You should hear me fart...

some random guy: You should make jello shots! That's a fucking brilliant idea!
A: I still don't know the recipe.
srg: It's still kinda early for a warm up.... it's 5:00...
A: So, we've been up 2 hours...

some other random guy: What are you guys doing?
A: Making jello shots...
sorg: Jello shots...
A: Yeah we're making an economy size batch...
W: I'm working on a cure for cancer, I don't know what she's doing...
A: Now you gotta get the footage tonight when everybody's wasted.

A: Here's to the pope! toasts the pope with everyone else

Beth misses the hamburger Amy pitches to her hamburger falls on the floor
Amy runs over and picks it up
some random guy: You gotta eat it!
Amy eats a bite and spits it out a second later

Amy with sunglasses on: Wait let's do this. Let's set up a nice little table for somebody to eat on this upside down table with Burger King and some McDonalds. A little burger on each leg.
R: Hold on, we gotta make this nice. moves chairs over to the table
A: takes 20 dollars out of her wallet
R: 20 dollars! Right here! puts it on the table with the burger
A: Shut the door and turn out the lights so we don't get in trouble before we get home!

Amy to John: Hey..HEY! BEEEEER!

Amy kisses Beth on the cheek: Yeah baby! No, we are so cute all the time! muah muah muah!

B: Grandma makes Swedish meatballs and they are good...
A: I love Swedish meatballs with the gravy!
B: It's all about the gravy...

some random guy: The princess is wasted!
A: laughs Hello!!
srg: Hey, uh...
A: No autographs! No photographs! falls back down on couch

A: laying down ouside Whooo! Taxi! I love this shit! Get it on videotape! is joined by Beth Whooo! Now we are a complete team!
B: We is a teeeeam! OMG Richie I love your purse! It's so cute!
R: Thank you!
all 3 look at the camera
B: Triple cheese! OMG my brassiere is showing.
A: I'm gonna barf....
B: Go that way... points to the dirt
some random guy: Don't do it, Amy!
B: I gotta hold her hair.
R: You gotta hold her!

Kareoke party in Houston
Shaun and Beth singing Bring Me to Life
Amy runs infrot of the camera: This is fucked up!
A: off camera You suck! dies on the floor

A: I'm sad that it's over!
onstage
A: Cheers! We love you!

W: pops a bottle of champagne open Yeah! There it is, right there. Now everyone who has a drink from this is going to have some of me in them. takes a swig from the bottle

toast at the end of the last tour
A: Cheers! To the next album being even cooler than this one!

the band comes out of their room and waves from the balcony
crowd cheers
the band moons everyone and goes back into their room
crowd cheers even louder

Concert

Haunted

Going Under

–Amy: “Merci Paris! Thank you so much for having us back!”

Taking Over Me

-Amy: “You guys doing good out there?” crowd screams “Alright, this is our new single.”

Everybody’s Fool

-Amy: “Thank you Paris! Alright, we’re going to do something completely different now, this is by a band we all like very much. I’m not even going to announce it, you oughta know what this is.”

Thoughtless

My Last Breath

Farther Away

-Amy: sigh “If you guys don’t mind, we’re gonna take it down for a couple songs. Insert cheer here.”

Breathe No More

-Amy: “Thank you guys.”

My Immortal

-Amy: “Lemme hear you sing it!”
“You guys rock!”

Bring Me To Life

Tourniquet

-Amy: “Paris, thank you so much! You rule tonight! Thank you we can’t wait to come back again! This is our last song, we’ll see you next time!”

Imaginary

-Amy: “Good night Paris!”

band exits stage
band re-enters stage for encore

-Amy: “You guys want one more? That’s right, I want to see everyone’s hands in the air.”


Encore: Whisper

-Amy: “We love you, Paris.”